Transformative Coaching
for Midlife

The Opportunity of Midlife

Midlife is one of life’s most pivotal chapters. In between the striving of youth and the quiet confidence of old age, midlife challenges us to question our values, re-evaluate what’s important, embrace our hard-won wisdom, and steer our ships towards more resonate ports. Taking on this evolution with the partnership of a life coach makes it possible to challenge old belief systems, develop a positive mindset, and create the life you’ve been dreaming of. Learn about coaching with Lori Varsames.

Personal Growth

If you’re finding yourself stuck in indecision and fear, trapped in the same patterns and mindset, coaching can help you think outside of the box and shift courageously to create a life of fulfillment, balance and purpose.

Career Shifts

If the same old-same old no longer makes you want to jump out of bed every day, coaching can help reassess your values, uncover your evolving life purpose and lead you to pursue a new path.

Business Start-Ups

Create a brand with meaning with a coach experienced in start-ups, sales and marketing. Get focused, brainstorm together, build your mission and value statements, and start your business off on the right foot. 

Lori Varsames

PERSONAL & PROFESSIONAL COACH

Transformative Coaching for Midlife with Lori Varsames
Sophie Poukish
I reached out to Lori to help me launch my sustainable clothing brand and could not be more pleased with my decision! Since working with her, I have been so much more organized in my thoughts and actions due to her prompting questions and helpful words of encouragement. I come away from every meeting feeling so inspired and motivated to work through any barriers I see to my successes. Along with her beautiful spirit, she also brings with her an amazing amount of professionalism. Thank you, Lori!
Christine Janeway
I thank my lucky stars that Lori has come into my life. This year, I’ve experienced many challenges including divorce, single parenting, selling a home, and changes in responsibilities at work. With Lori in my corner, we’ve focused on finding what my true values are, and then practical ways to honor and highlight them in my life. Our sessions together allow me to feel focused on being my authentic self, which flows over into being more honest and present for my loved ones. I really believe that Lori was meant for coaching. Her demeanor is loving and bold, and she’s an amazing listener. She knows exactly what to tease out of our conversations to come up with creative ideas and activities that have given me profound inspiration and meaning in my life.
Lindsey Roberts
All of the coaching sessions with Lori are truly from a place of genuine interest and heart-felt intention to connect with clients. Her insights are spot on and always insightful, sparking a need for gentle, but needed change. Lots of 'aha' moments! Feeling immediately at ease, she made it seem like I was talking to my best friend with amazing insight vs. a coach with just some life skills to apply and a worksheet to fill out. Lori's mission is to empower women to be the very best version of themselves. Her decades of experience in the business world and overcoming health issues also means she's able to understand exactly what your challenges are, in your unique situation. She's on the path to doing exactly what her soul calls her to do and that is how you know she's just the person you need to speak with!
Matthew Long
Lori has helped me to make myself and my needs a priority. I had to learn that putting myself last effected the way I ran my business and supported those around me. She helped me understand how our inner saboteurs hold us back from seeing clearly. Her pushing me to be mindful helped me to love myself more and recognize the infinite opportunities available. She’s also shown me that I already possess skills that can help me tackle problems that I have been too overwhelmed to face. Above all, she’s helped me navigate unforeseen obstacles. Thank you Lori!

30-Minute Chemistry Call

In this free, 30-minute call, we’ll discuss your goals and how you’ll measure your success. You’ll have a chance to ask me about my approach and see if we’re a good fit.

Blog

Weekly Musings

Dive into your next change.

When we’re getting curious about a big change in midlife—whether a move, job or relationship change—it’s in our nature to shoo the idea away before

Read More »
Personal Growth

May You Be Patient

Two weeks ago, my computer started acting funky, and I whipped myself into a frenzy over all I would not be able to do: Zoom

Read More »

Stay Connected

Inspiration
Straight to Your Inbox

Sign up for Lori’s email and explore common issues pertaining to midlife, including ways to live mindfully and courageously, career changes, relationships, and self-care tips.

Let's Be Social

So honored to be included in The Bohemian's "Best of the North Bay" 2024 edition for Best Career & Life Coach of Sonoma County! Thank you to all who voted for me and for allowing me to do this meaningful work. I'm so grateful.
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@northbaybohemian @sonoma_valley @sonomacounty @northbaybusinessjournal #coaching #mentalhealth #midlifewomen #midlife #midlifemasterpiece #bestofthenorthbay2024 #gratitude
Happy Valentines Day to my clients and followers! May you all remember to cultivate self-love.
Notice what you’re avoiding.

Once upon a time, I was a master procrastinator. I wrote research papers the night before they were due. I dragged myself to the laundromat only when the last clean clothes were on my back. I paid my taxes skidding into the April 15th deadline. And that’s when I was on the accountable side of procrastination. There were other times that I completely belly flopped by not making the birthday phone call, not paying the bill before it went to collections, or not quitting the miserable job when I should have. I let so many things fall through the cracks.
 
By the time I hit my late 20s, I realized that the anxiety around what I was avoiding was far worse than the thing itself. Now, the minute I start feeling avoidance, I add the task I’m fearing to my to-do list or calendar and make sure it gets done quickly. I still squirm at the thought of doing taxes, but a few hours of discomfort as I organize my documents is far better than months of avoidance. Have you noticed that so little of what we avoid is as bad as we blow it up to be?
 
What are you avoiding that might be solved with some initial discomfort?
 
Maybe it’s something less pressing like reorganizing your files or getting the oil changed in the car. Or maybe it’s something more urgent like looking for a new job when you hear about upcoming layoffs. Or maybe it’s not time-oriented but purpose-driven or values-affirming, like starting your own business, ending a relationship, or going back to the gym.
 
In midlife, we are quick to cry “stress” when life gets overwhelming, but sometimes all we need to do is be mindful of our choices and mindsets. Neuroscience proves that the stories we tell ourselves create our reality and believing the negative ones is a choice. So the next time you run into avoidance, ask yourself what fear might be behind it. What is the cost of feeding that fear? What possibilities could open up by facing it? When we get in the habit of confronting our fears, strength, ease and confidence are sure to follow.
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#midlife #midlifewomen #avoidance #facethefear #justdoit #procrastination #yesyoucan
Spring cleaning is about fresh starts--out with the old and in with the new! Never do we need a spring cleaning more than in midlife when we're used to routines and set in our ways. But those same routines, patterns and mindsets threaten to keep us in indecision, stagnation and overwhelm. By shaking things up, we naturally slough off the striving of our youth to make way for a life aligned with purpose and meaning. We stand to accelerate our own growth during this time by being conscious about what we’re letting go of, and what we’re embracing to make the next half of life spectacular. Click link in bio to register for this Zoom lunch break to share, learn, and walk away with new perspectives.
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#midlife #growth #coaching #balance #freeworkshop #midlifemasterpiece #lifestyle #morningvibes #transition #entrepreneur #career #relationshipgoals #letitgo  #yesyoucan #springcleaning
Let go of perfectionism.

Perfectionism is one of the single biggest challenges my clients have when they start coaching. It often manifests as such a strong need to make sure their decisions are the “right” ones that they are left feeling anxious, in stagnation or indecision. Other times, I see it in how they are unsatisfied with their progress, holding themselves to impossible standards, or negative self-talk. Whatever the symptom, the root cause is much the same: perfectionism is the fear of being wrong and/or not being liked.
 
Growing up in strict families or religious communities may be to blame, but societal convention certainly makes things worse—particularly for women. Women who do not conform to the model of the selfless martyr are called “selfish” or “bad wives, coworkers, mothers…” And that’s just for starters. God forbid a woman in the workplace has too much confidence or dares color outside the lines! She’s branded as “aggressive,” “bitchy,” or “too much.” Many women wield perfectionism as a tool to sidestep these nasty labels, but even the rule-followers must bear other slurs like “up tight,” “prissy,” or “rigid.”
 
The bottom line is that perfectionists can’t do anything right, least of all for themselves. Perfectionism gets in the way of surprises, spontaneity, and serendipity. It gets in the way of creativity, play, and flexibility. More than anything, it gets in the way of a lot of fun. In midlife, having fun is potentially what we need most. If you don’t believe me, I highly recommend Brené Brown’s book, “The Gifts of Imperfection.” It’s an eye-opener for recovering perfectionists.
 
Our midlife wisdom makes us more averse to failure than ever, but we need to remember that it’s in failure that learning and growth make change possible. When we embrace the concept of failing forward, we don’t need to fear our imperfection—rather, it teaches us how to bounce back from it with less judgment and more grace. Perfection is boring and stressful; getting at least a little messy is much more fun.
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#midlife #midlifewomen #career #lifestyle #relationships #entrepreneur #leadership #perfectionist #letitgo #yesyoucan #midlifemasterpiece
Click link in bio to schedule a free, 30-minute call to learn more!
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#midlife #midlifewomen #women #bywomenforwomen #confidence #dreambig #yesyoucan #peoplepleaser #entrepreneur #leadership #lifestyle #relationships #career #40plus #50andover #genx #millennials #boundaries #midlifegoals #lifegoals #bosslady #trauma @fempowerment.inc 
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@theflexibleneurotic @bossbabe.inc @leaninorg @areyoufreeforcoffeepodcast @coactiveleaders @icfheadquarters @movingthehumanspirit @wecandohardthingspodcast @melrobbins
Tune in today into the North Bay’s KSVY (91.3) at 11:20 PST to hear me talking about midlife with @sonomachamber’s Mark Bodenhamer!
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#midlife #sonoma #coaching #midlifemasterpiece #wellness @sonomavalley @ksvy_svtv
In this transformative, 10-week coaching program, you’ll learn what it takes to create a life of freedom, adventure, and choice. For midlifers who feel stuck, out-of-step with their values, or in need of change in their careers, relationships, or lifestyles, adopting new behaviors and mindsets can be liberating, invigorating, and empowering. Worksheets, homework, and connections with other participants in-between sessions will make this a thought-provoking, exciting, and dynamic fresh start for the next half of life. Book a free, 30-minute chemistry call at LoriVarsames.com (click link in bio) to see if it’s the right fit for you.

Lori Varsames is a certified personal and professional coach who offers both individual and group coaching. In 2023, she was named Best Career & Life Coach in Sonoma County by the North Bay Bohemian. 
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#midlife #midlifemasterpiece #coaching #yesyoucan #career #lifestyle #relationships @sonomachamber @sonoma_valley