Transformative Coaching
for Midlife

The Opportunity of Midlife

Midlife is one of life’s most pivotal chapters. In between the striving of youth and the quiet confidence of old age, midlife challenges us to question our values, re-evaluate what’s important, embrace our hard-won wisdom, and steer our ships towards more resonate ports. Taking on this evolution with the partnership of a life coach makes it possible to challenge old belief systems, develop a positive mindset, and create the life you’ve been dreaming of. Learn about coaching with Lori Varsames.

Personal Growth

If you’re finding yourself stuck in indecision and fear, trapped in the same patterns and mindset, coaching can help you think outside of the box and shift courageously to create a life of fulfillment, balance and purpose.

Career Shifts

If the same old-same old no longer makes you want to jump out of bed every day, coaching can help reassess your values, uncover your evolving life purpose and lead you to pursue a new path.

Business Start-Ups

Create a brand with meaning with a coach experienced in start-ups, sales and marketing. Get focused, brainstorm together, build your mission and value statements, and start your business off on the right foot. 

Lori Varsames

PERSONAL & PROFESSIONAL COACH

Transformative Coaching for Midlife with Lori Varsames
Sophie Poukish
I reached out to Lori to help me launch my sustainable clothing brand and could not be more pleased with my decision! Since working with her, I have been so much more organized in my thoughts and actions due to her prompting questions and helpful words of encouragement. I come away from every meeting feeling so inspired and motivated to work through any barriers I see to my successes. Along with her beautiful spirit, she also brings with her an amazing amount of professionalism. Thank you, Lori!
Christine Janeway
I thank my lucky stars that Lori has come into my life. This year, I’ve experienced many challenges including divorce, single parenting, selling a home, and changes in responsibilities at work. With Lori in my corner, we’ve focused on finding what my true values are, and then practical ways to honor and highlight them in my life. Our sessions together allow me to feel focused on being my authentic self, which flows over into being more honest and present for my loved ones. I really believe that Lori was meant for coaching. Her demeanor is loving and bold, and she’s an amazing listener. She knows exactly what to tease out of our conversations to come up with creative ideas and activities that have given me profound inspiration and meaning in my life.
Lindsey Roberts
All of the coaching sessions with Lori are truly from a place of genuine interest and heart-felt intention to connect with clients. Her insights are spot on and always insightful, sparking a need for gentle, but needed change. Lots of 'aha' moments! Feeling immediately at ease, she made it seem like I was talking to my best friend with amazing insight vs. a coach with just some life skills to apply and a worksheet to fill out. Lori's mission is to empower women to be the very best version of themselves. Her decades of experience in the business world and overcoming health issues also means she's able to understand exactly what your challenges are, in your unique situation. She's on the path to doing exactly what her soul calls her to do and that is how you know she's just the person you need to speak with!
Matthew Long
Lori has helped me to make myself and my needs a priority. I had to learn that putting myself last effected the way I ran my business and supported those around me. She helped me understand how our inner saboteurs hold us back from seeing clearly. Her pushing me to be mindful helped me to love myself more and recognize the infinite opportunities available. She’s also shown me that I already possess skills that can help me tackle problems that I have been too overwhelmed to face. Above all, she’s helped me navigate unforeseen obstacles. Thank you Lori!

30-Minute Chemistry Call

In this free, 30-minute call, we’ll discuss your goals and how you’ll measure your success. You’ll have a chance to ask me about my approach and see if we’re a good fit.

Blog

Weekly Musings

Dive into your next change.

When we’re getting curious about a big change in midlife—whether a move, job or relationship change—it’s in our nature to shoo the idea away before

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Personal Growth

May You Be Patient

Two weeks ago, my computer started acting funky, and I whipped myself into a frenzy over all I would not be able to do: Zoom

Read More »

Stay Connected

Inspiration
Straight to Your Inbox

Sign up for Lori’s email and explore common issues pertaining to midlife, including ways to live mindfully and courageously, career changes, relationships, and self-care tips.

Let's Be Social

Embrace sequential living.

This weekend, my husband and I celebrated our annual Friendsgiving with old friends. As we all checked in with one another about what was going on in our lives, there were lots of questions and quite a few explanations around things we weren’t doing anymore that typically are important. My friend Ingrid, a published writer and poet, a devoted mom, an accomplished teacher and department head, and an avid runner stopped me when I asked about her writing.
 
“You know, I’m all about sequential living,” she explained. “I’m letting go of this need to be superwoman and doing all the things that are important to me at once.” No, she said, she hadn’t been writing lately—just taking notes on ideas. She told us that her focus was on supporting her sister’s recovery from cancer and parenting her high-school junior. “I’ll definitely get back to my writing,” she said, “but right now I have other priorities. I wish I could do all the things that I love, but I also don’t want to pressure myself to squeeze it all in.”
 
What a refreshing paradigm shift!
 
In the hustle culture we live in, many of us share about ourselves with guilt and shame about what we aren’t doing or doing well rather than confidence about what’s working. By the time we reach midlife, this juggling act of “doing it all” becomes a relentless pursuit of perfectionism. It’s about keeping up appearances, living up to ridiculous models of adulting and parenting, and checking off someone else’s boxes of success—all at the cost of our mental health and sense of peace. Letting go of this pressure is the ultimate act of rebellion; not only does it allow us to reclaim our own happiness and sense of self, but it thumbs our noses at the standards that keep us running through life instead of actually enjoying it.
 
As the holidays approach and you start updating people on your own life, be mindful of how you speak about yourself. Let Ingrid’s words help you create a new narrative for yourself and others. And allow yourself to set limits on what’s reasonable for you during this traditionally busy season.
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#midlife #stepbystep #livesequentially #hustleculture #selflove
Focus on what you *can* control.

During tough times, when the worries of the world feel heavy on our shoulders, one of the best things we can do is just keep going. “Keep calm and carry on,” may seem trite, but it’s a time-tested adage that helps move us through difficult moments. The invitation is not to repress our big feelings, but to focus on what we can control when so much seems outside of it. In the sphere of influence, focusing on the inner circle of what we can control is powerful medicine.
 
Over the last week, I’ve been grateful to draw from my coaching toolbox to help me move through my anxiety around these changing times. Despite my track record, I’ve meditated every day to create awareness around my feelings to better self-manage; I worked out more than I have in the last month; and I’ve also tackled my to-do list with renewed zeal. These brags may sound like nothing special, but I’m typically happier in less regimented routines, I resist working out when I’m stressed, and I tend to procrastinate mundane tasks.
 
I won’t lie and tell you that I feel better about the state of the world, or this country, but I do feel more functional than ever. By checking off some boxes on my to-do list, I’ve taken the added pressures off my plate and created more spaciousness for processing my emotions, for resting, and for focusing on joy wherever I find it…in my case, in snuggles with my puppy, watching silly televisions shows with my hubby, and reaching out to friends and family.
 
If you consider yourself a giver of any kind, now is the time to make sure you’re taking good care of yourself. Look at your areas of procrastination, focus on those nagging tasks, and then focus on yourself—rest, joy, and connection. When we take good care of ourselves, we have greater capacity to help others. And when we help others, we stand to soften the cynicism of our times to hopefully change the world. Taking control of a tough situation starts with on the inside.
Day 14 Check-in for 100 Days of Meditation Challenge
Set intentions this holiday season.

Every year, the race between Halloween and New Year’s Day seems to get faster and faster. Between travel, lots of social time, and excess spending, the holidays can leave in a daze with just weeks in between to recover from one so we can plan for the next. And that’s just speaking of our personal lives. At work, this often means end of fiscal year deadlines, client gifts, and planning for time off, putting even more pressure on us to use every minute of the day to maximum capacity. However joyful, the holidays can be exhausting.
 
As someone living with an autoimmune disease, preserving my energy and finding as much balance as I can is vital to my quality of life. Extra stressors like action-packed weekends, big diet shifts, and travel make me more vulnerable than your average person. And while my autoimmune challenge is a nuisance at times, it’s also been an incredible teacher, giving me better self-awareness and much healthier boundaries than I had before my diagnosis. So, when the holiday season comes up, I find it helpful to set intentions about what I need before I commit to any plans. This gives me a general framework for what’s feasible before the holiday ideas and invitations start circulating.
 
This week, as we approach the first of many holidays, I want to invite you to do the same. What kind of holiday season do you want to have? Is it a good year for travel or for staying home? Who do you want to celebrate with? What will your budget allow for gift-giving this year? What kind of community contributions can you commit to for others in need? What kind of boundaries can you set to make room for your health and well-being?
 
Taking time to consider our goals is a great way of insuring we get where we want to go. The mind is the ultimate creator, fulfilling the dreams of the reality we paint for it. If you anticipate a chaotic holiday, you’re sure to have it. If you’re anticipating one of balance, on your own terms, then this is your moment to make it so. Joyful holidays start with our intentions first.
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#midlife #holidaze #intentions #coaching
Check in: Day 7/100 Days of Meditation Challenge
World Mental Health Day and the 100 Days of Meditation Challenge
Meditation is one of the most effective tools for navigating the stress, anxiety, burnout and overwhelm of the modern age. Not only does it teach us self-awareness, compassion, acceptance, non-judgment, and letting go, but it also helps us focus, plan, work better collaboratively, and improve our relationships. And that's just for starters! In this free, zoom kick-off meeting, we'll discuss the benefits of meditation, the neuroscience behind it, how to practice Insight Meditation, and the details of this exciting 100-day challenge. Take advantage of additional support and accountability on my Instagram and Facebook accounts @lorivarsamescoaching and periodic check-ins via Zoom. The challenge is entirely free of charge, so please encourage your friends to join. Recordings will be shared with registrants for those who cannot attend. Click link in bio to register.
So honored to be included in The Bohemian's "Best of the North Bay" 2024 edition for Best Career & Life Coach of Sonoma County! Thank you to all who voted for me and for allowing me to do this meaningful work. I'm so grateful.
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@northbaybohemian @sonoma_valley @sonomacounty @northbaybusinessjournal #coaching #mentalhealth #midlifewomen #midlife #midlifemasterpiece #bestofthenorthbay2024 #gratitude