After a season of holiday hedonism, making New Year’s resolutions often seems like a good idea. Sure, it’s time to cut down on the sweets. Maybe we don’t need that second drink. And yes, let’s be in touch with family more. But after an awkward January of punishing ourselves with change and habit-breaking after the holidays, many “resolutionaries” are quick to return to old ways. The problem could be that we are answering the call of our shoulds rather than our whys.
Shoulds vs. Whys
“I should lose some weight” is a far cry from “I want to lose some weight to live a more vibrant life,” isn’t it? When we are in touch with our why, we put the power of our intention in our own hands. Working towards the real source of our motivation, rather than a hypothetical goal that we may know to be ideal but is laced with fear-based consequences if we don’t. Shoulds are fear-based statements—annoying, guilt-inducing, finger-wagging warnings—which no one likes to follow. But when we look to the real source of our motivation, our why, then we have something real and powerful to work towards.
Getting to the Essentials with Our Whys
Despite all efforts to the contrary, 2020 gives us reason to hope. In January 2020, one in four Americans (27%) elected to make New Year’s Resolutions. A recent survey by YouGov shows that numbers have gone up to 31% already for this coming year, with exercise and a healthy diet at the top of the resolution list items. Data journalist Jamie Ballard writes, “About half (49%) of those who made [early] 2020 resolutions say that they kept some but not all of their resolutions from last year, while just over one-third (35%) say they kept all of their resolutions. Only 16% say they did not keep any of the resolutions they made for 2020.” While it remains to be seen if this increase is a trend, what is clear is that more people are choosing to make resolutions this year.
One explanation for the increased interest in making changes in our lives could be that humankind may finally be more in touch with our whys. Rampant cases of COVID-19; millions of deaths; widespread unemployment, hunger and homelessness; physical isolation from our communities; and a global economic depression have quickly put the important things of life into perspective.Given all the legitimate excuses we could have given ourselves to throw resolutions out the window in the middle of a global crisis, 2020’s resolutions actually tended to stick.
Authentic Desire + Action = Change
As the new year approaches, the question then we would be better asking ourselves before making resolutions is not only what we want to do/give up/be more or be less of in the coming year, but why we want to do it. The power of intention is real in creating transformation in our lives, but only when we bless that intention with authentic desire and action.
What do you want your 2021 to look like? And why?