When we’re getting curious about a big change in midlife—whether a move, job or relationship change—it’s in our nature to shoo the idea away before it gains any traction. I’ve watched time and time again as clients come to me talking about their big idea for their next change, only to put it down two minutes later with a list of excuses as to why it couldn’t possibly work.
And then I think of learning how to swim as a kid. At first, I hated it. I cried a lot, panicking whenever my dad took me into deep waters. A couple of years later, I learned to swim and dive in a dark and murky kettle pond. Leaning into the water head-first without knowing what was below was initially terrifying. But one dive led to another, and soon enough, I joined a swim team, swimming and diving with newfound confidence.
I spent eight years as a competitive swimmer and loved every minute of it. Even still, diving into the cold water for the first plunge at practice every day was the hardest part. Not the miles of swimming, nor my sore muscles, nor the feeling of being water-logged kept me away. Rather, it was diving into the cold water that freaked me out every time. I tried to curtail the shock by inching my way in, but the slow entry was torturous. I had to dive—not impulsively or rashly, but intentionally—knowing that after a few laps I’d be warm again, and after a couple of hours, I’d leave the pool stronger than before.
In midlife, we tend to stand at the edge of the pool for years, psyching ourselves up and waiting for some kind of reassurance before we dive into change. While any good dive should be calculated for safety, we often inch our way into transition, painfully so, looking for promises and safe bets to prevent us from experiencing the shock of newness. But the truth is, there are no promises or safe bets. Diving in and feeling the cold is often what motivates us to work hard to find our warmth and comfort again. And that builds wisdom and confidence.
What’s holding you back from taking the big plunge in your life? What would it look like to be on the other end of that dive? Looking for a coach to keep you motivated and confident through your next change. Sign up for a free 30-minute chemistry call to see if we’re a good fit.
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